dyp100 said: That was seriously beautiful. One day I hope I can befriend people that cool in person
i only have a handful of friends who can get into insane and illegal situations, a trial of fire. it takes time, but most of all, don’t hide who you are. if you have to pretend, they’re not your friends. unfortunately for me, i’ve worked in advertising all my life so it took quite some time to erase the makeup and remove the masks. you’ll find those friends, cabana boy. if i lived in the uk, i would walk with you and bring you to my favourite places if you don’t get bored of me, haha. i know you deal with depression, i want you to be ok.
raindeerdeluxe said: Oh, mindless road trips - it sounds so wonderfully healing.
that’s the perfect word for it: healing! it is. imagine 3.20am on the highway singing CAKE’s frank sinatra and nearing a gas station surrounded only by trucks. when you see trucks, you know you’re a long way from home. when we saw all the shops we held hands and screamed OASIS!!! like a bunch of nerds. it’s a good week for me, i forgot how fast food tastes like.
whenever my friend is sad, he’d ask Steph and I to join him on a mindless road trip, we’d keep driving and stopping at gas stations, that’s his way of coping with depression. one time we drove from Selangor and ended up at freaking Cameron Highlands, not noticing the change in temperature. whenever i’m sad, they’ll take me to my favourite abandoned spots and we’ll just drink and drive around until morning. when you’re depressed, time doesn’t exist. dates disappear. you just want to see the sunrise because it signifies a new day.
i’ve been questioning my art and other skills since forever. i get the jitters ever since i’ve been changing my job to something that’s a little more relevant. the game industry is terrifying to me now when i realized i need to improve more on my art. 2 years cut off for chemistry and programming, i felt left behind. i’ve been through many things, in 2010 i had only a hundred bucks in my bank account, an empty apartment and no support from my family or any sort of idiot living in malaysia aka acquaintances who called themselves friends, they didn’t give a shit about me and it’s always been that way. my problems are my own and since then i’ve never trusted anyone. i don’t mind, i’d rather have 5 friends who are prepared for anything, i’ll be there for them. no amount of time determines a friendship, it’s what you do. the friends who have seen me at my saddest are the ones i’ll remember.
this week, we drove to other towns, other states.. armed with vodka. we found a gas station that had every shop imaginable, even a starbucks HALLELUJAH. Andrew called it THE OASIS. we ate at KFC, OD’d on donuts, watched The Office videos, discussed codes and drew until the sun came up. i live for these moments, those sad times that makes us feel we can overcome any kind of problem in life. sometimes if we get detached from stagnant society, we find out a little more about ourselves.
"Photo As Memory"
My experience with laundromats - having no experience with laundromats, except seeing them in television or film.
I encountered this laundromat one late night downtown. It appeared as this clinical, fluorescent, static place. And I thought, hey, i’ve never been here before, but this seems familiar.
I forgot what this was from for a moment and thought it was a gif set of Jonathan Crane weeping while he tried to microwave a pinwheel.
FOR 528,491 MINUTES
sketched this during lunchtime.. just finished it today. i wanted to draw out a scene with sector 14 Ceter following the string to the dreamer who killed Carnaki. i’m getting used to drawing more backgrounds, eventually i have to make this a habit or i’ll never progress.
full scenery’s on my art blobbu 8D
once a week we have to make a character by choosing cards. today i learned that tundra is not spelled thundra, my engrish bad. i was marathoning Monty Python sketches so the first thing i thought of were those butchers with straw boaters and stripy aprons.
i’m gonna complete this in a week, maybe. i have to develop everything. the first butcher looks like my Animal Crossing mayor, ffffuuuuuck.
GUYS i’m sorry if i’ve been slow on replying to messages. i got over a work hurdle and i’m doing my best now since i have free time until next week. we’re just doing game concepts now and i’m so happy to be FREE.
i’ve done this on my ACNL blog but here goes:
1. i do my best to not stay sad over bad events in my life because it’s unhealthy to me. i go for a walk, draw, or just read to get rid of bad vibes.
2. i am open to learning any sort of skill. i just crave knowledge and i will make sure i excel academically especially if it’s a subject i love.
3. i’m a terrible chatterbox and can get along with most people, i avoid the negative ones because it’s a waste of time to argue (i sound like an old person)
4. i know 5 languages, spanish being my favourite one and my german is quite rusty. i like reading books and watching foreign films to see how the language is spoken.
5. no matter how many problems i encounter, i will do my damnedest to get out of it. i’ve been through so much shit both mentally and financially, i ended up having no more fear because i keep telling myself: “it won’t get any worse than this. this won’t kill me.”
thanks so much for sending me this! i really appreciate it and i wish i can buy you guys a large pizza. i think everyone needs the ‘5 nice things’ message once in a while. you deserve to be proud of yourselves.
bluebirdmask said: holy crap erika, I read about the killswitch urban legend earlier this summer and I was just enchanted by it… This looks great!! Ever since I read about it I’ve wanted to play it really badly cause it sounds like everything I like in one game, haha
ohhmygod LOTTY PLS i could blab about games all day tbh, especially urban legends. i’m glad you’ve heard of it! actually the style’s like this because i don’t have experience in pixel art. i have a lot to learn about that, i’m still torn on keeping it in pixel platformer style or going with a more stylized 3rd person POV. the best part is learning about game mechanics and how people would interact with it. i’ve been listening to old war songs while working on this, Vzemlyan is my favourite one.
i’ve done research on Killswitch, mines and soviet workers. the game’s atmosphere really inspired me. i have the characters drawn and areas mapped out, if i knew how to make a game, i would. i’m gonna learn how to use a game engine for this. :D
i had fun redoing the game mechanics and decided to make a small sequence of events whenever Porto encounters one of the ghosts in the mines. they’re fellow workers who have died and been covered by cloth, some of them unaware of their death. they speak in a raspy voice, as if choked by fumes. if Porto tells them the truth, they might give her a piece of a map or try to drag her to the afterlife with them. lying to the ghosts has a 30% chance for them to yield usable items. when the map is complete, Porto will be able to escape the mines. the game takes a different route for Ghast, but i will post more of my progress when i’ve compiled them nicely.
(also, pls forgive my poor gif skills, i’m no animator lmao)